The beauty of having your bag stolen

BRENDAN MCMANUS ::  The beauty of having your bag stolen. Turning disaster into opportunity. A lot of people commented ‘what a disaster’ when I told them about having my passport and bag stolen in Barcelona a few years ago. Ironically I was on my way to a meeting in Manresa, the location of St Ignatius’ famous Cave, where he had profound enlightenments and a second ‘conversion’. The shock of the theft of my bag seems initially like a disaster, but for some reason, I had the gift of being able to see it differently and it worked out quite providentially in fact. 

I was brought up with ‘be careful’, ‘look after your things’ and ‘don’t make mistakes’; so whenever things go wrong like what happened in Barcelona train station, I could feel the pressure to blame myself, beat myself up and feel bad about it. However, that morning in Barcelona I remembered what my friend and co-author Jim added had said to me recently ‘let’s not feel bad about ourselves ever again’. So I thought, you know what, I am not going to feel bad about this, an unfortunate theft. There was nothing I could do anyway and beating myself up wouldn’t help. Instead I’m resolved to look on it as an opportunity for growth and for seeing the good, which is the key philosophy of our book, Finding God in the Mess. 

Guilt and shame can be a terrible trap and can render us powerless to act in situations. However, the most important question facing me on the Metro that morning was ‘what can I do now’ and ‘how can I turn this around’, which involves both acceptance and problem solving. The Jesuit paradox of ‘act as if everything depends on you but believe as if everything depends on God’ was never more relevant. Prayer has to result in practical decisions on the real world. 

In terms of Ignatian decision making or discernment, it was about identifying what was the unhelpful inner movement (shame and paralysis) and moving towards a more positive one (what do I have to let go of to solve the issue). Beating myself up, giving myself a good internal ‘hiding’ is tempting as it seems to be warranted but it is literally a hiding to nothing, there was nothing to be gained. What was most important for me was to act fast to verify that the bag was stolen and check at the station’s lost property, and then bite the bullet to make the police report of a theft (a crucial step for subsequent paperwork as it turned out). Then, having done all I could do, I could only accept the reality and assess the options and the consequences (God is in the reality). Ruminating on the regret about placing the passport in the bag and taking my eyes off it wasn’t going to serve any purpose. 

Also, it wasn’t the end of the world. I had lost my passport, laptop, hard disc, hiking jacket and lots of other small things. But, crucially I still had my phone, wallet and ID. This meant that I was mobile and connected, and that I could still attend the Jesuit meeting in Manresa that I was meant to be at. This was a great lesson in Ignatian freedom, being able to let go and trust in God, it was a real pilgrimage of trust. 

All the other things could be replaced and even the laptop items had been backed up- what was the big drama after all? I was lucky in many respects, still had my health and had somewhere to stay that night in Manresa Jesuit retreat house. The Ignatian principle of finding gratitude was crucial here otherwise I could have been lost in remorse and regret – rather I was praying for the freedom to let go, asking for strength to overcome the pull of negativity (the trap of perfection that doesn’t accept mistakes), and trusting that these things could be resolved. 

And of course all of these things were easily resolved: after a few days I got a temporary passport to get me home, the insurance would cover the loss, everything was backed up, people at the meeting lent me everything I needed to attend and I had a truly great meeting as my expectations were reset: everything was a gift and every moment precious. 

A further twist was that I had a book launch for my translated book in Slovenian and was under pressure to return to Dublin, get a new passport  in one day and immediately fly out to Slovenia for the book launch. Again this was a similar adventure of things going wrong (I missed a connection and had an unplanned overnight in Germany; then the next day severed tooth pain meant I had to get a root canal treatment) but going right once I got my attitude right. I learned that it was all about how I approached reality and how flexible and free I could be. 

In fact I learned so much, had such intense prayer experiences in the Cave of St Ignatius in Manresa, and had such an enjoyable book launch that I could only be glad that it happened. How else could I have discovered all these important insights, learned how to ask for help, and rejoiced in people’s generosity – everyone should have their bags stolen!;-)

Prayer suggestion:

Review the situation as you go using the Ignatian Examen to keep on track. 

Take a difficult situation facing you and make it into a prayer, use your own words. Ask for whatever specific ‘grace (favour from God)’ you need e.g. help me get through this tough time; let me be able to bear this suffering that I have to go through; let me know you are with me Lord as I walk this ‘valley of darkness. 

Work out what your options are, worst to best: I will barely be able to tolerate this situation (tolerance), let me accept this difficult situation (acceptance), let me see your hand in this Lord and embrace it (embrace). Realise that you have a choice about how you deal with it. 

Ask God for help here, realise you can’t do it on your own and hand it over. Ask what is it that God wants for you, what would it be like to let go of your own view and open up to God’s? Visualise Christ speaking to you and encouraging you. 

Clearly identify the negative sides of barely tolerating this situation and what old habits are in play, e.g. beating myself up, feeling shame and embarrassment, getting stuck in the negativity rut. 

Earnestly pray and demand from God the freedom to be able to let go of the negative and embrace the positive aspects. See yourself embracing and thriving in this situation. See it as part of God’s plan for you and God delighting in your response. 

Embrace the situation and live it fully, be alive to every moment and keep yourself in consolation, guarding against the ‘traps’ of negativity and desolation. 

(Thanks to Director at Manresa Jesuit Centre for Spirituality Joe Greenan for his assistance in writing this.)