Praying under pressure: breakdown on the road
Brendan McManus SJ :: Murphy’s Law states that whatever can go wrong, will, and also at the worst place. Last weekend, the Sun was blazing down and the traffic on Dublin’s M50 ring road slowed to a crawl. I had borrowed the car from another Jesuit and was looking forward to a weekend of relaxation in Wicklow. I noticed that the car began to be less and less responsive and took a few seconds to engage when I let out the clutch. I could feel the stress starting to mount as I thought about breaking down on this the busiest of roads. It seemed inevitable as the clutch gradually stopped working and I was grinding to a halt. I made one last ditch effort to get to an off ramp and seconds later it gave up the ghost. I put my hazard lights on but I could feel the anxiety making me sweat in the intense heat as the cars poured around me and horns blared in irritation. I wanted to throw it all up and just abandon the car, “I don’t need this right now; this cannot be happening to me!”
I had to remind myself to breathe first, the breath having become shallow and rapid. Then it was about focussing on how to solve the issue and sideline a lot of the unhelpful emotions of anger and frustration. I had read something recently about channeling the anger instead into assertive and proactive decisions. “What can I do that will help solve this?” I thought. Then I rang the owner of the car and explaining the situation, asked if there was breakdown cover. He directed me to the insurance documents and the emergency number on the back. After an interminable wait I got connected and after various computer glitches, got registered. The agent explained that while they could arrange a tow truck in 90 minutes, I would be better ringing the motorway emergency service who would be there in 10.
Sure enough, once the emergency services had located where I was and reassuringly could see me on the roadside cameras, a service van arrived in 10 minutes. I had already stepped out of the vehicle and was glad for a friendly and helpful face, (“things could be worse” we agreed), he informed me that the tow truck would be there soon. And again, within 5 minutes the truck arrived, I was ushered into the cab and they picked up the car, dropping me literally around the corner in an industrial estate, still in the sun but mercifully out of the traffic. However, I still had to get back on to the insurance and arrange for the car to be brought home; several phonecalls later and this was all arranged, there would be a pick up within 90 minutes.
At this stage I was thirsty and hungry as well, and had to ask around for the nearest cafe, a petrol station. Again, this was a welcome oasis from the roasting sun and I was glad to get water and a sandwich. Fortified, I made it back in time to meet the AA van. Irritatingly true to Murphy’s Law, the car had decided to work again and drove perfectly for the mechanic. However, there was no way I was venturing out on the motorway again, and we arranged to that I would drive the car home with him following close behind.
A few hours later, a friend picked me up and I got to my destination but was tired after all this. It was a testing experience and I had to dig deep but it did all work out in the end and no one got hurt fortunately. It reaffirmed my commitment to take public transport! I did learn something about praying through difficulty:
- Just breathe, remembering to deepen the breathing can help enormously with pressure situations
- Pray with the problem, asking God for help means coming up with positive actions and decisions; managing the negative emotions is a key part of this, identifying them as normal but trying to use them in a constructive way
- Don’t personalise things, it’s not a personal reflection on you, sometimes things just happen!
- Work to reduce the pressure; getting the car off the motorway was the first priority and was relatively easy to do.
- Look after your own needs; getting something to eat and drink was another key step to maintain balance and mood
- Ask for help in a calm and assertive way, anger is not likely to help here. Then be patient in waiting for help to arrive.
- It’s not the end of the world! Relativise the issue, it seems catastrophic at the time but with some distance it looks different.
